Thursday, 12 January 2012

Fan For Life

I wrote a letter to my favorite cookbook author Lindsay Nixon (The Happy Herbivore) and she wrote me back.  She said "xoxox." and I think that's freakin' cool...

She is also going to feature my other blog on her blog as an "Herbie of the Week."  I'm a fan for life now.  No, it doesn't take much, but she totally delivered.

I took this photo today with my new Samsung ST600 camera.  I've been dying for a camera that makes it easy to take pictures of yourself.  Does that make me vain?  No, I don't think so.  I just really love to capture the moments. :o)

Anyway, I after MUCH adjusting of just about everything from start to finish, I held my first photo session with myself...

I know it will take more practice, but I'm really excited about all the photo op possibilities. LOL  Ok, I'm a little vain.  But, it's a nice change to like how I look in a photo. :o)

The Happy Herbivore is my cooking adventure right now.  It is VERY exciting!!  

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

2 outta 4 ain't bad...

But it ain't good either.

Life with Mr. Pizza:

Quality time with the kids:

How I ate today:
NOT satisfied.

How I exercised today:
NOT satisfied.

Only I have the power. Tomorrow is a new day.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Fire Starter

I made a fire in a fire place (my own) for the first time today. I've built camp fires before, but never in a fire place- usually Mr. Pizza builds our fires in the evening.

But today, he is at work and I am at home freezing my ass off. I refuse to turn the heat on, because we have a fire place and I'm cheap. I texted Mr. Pizza to tell him he needed to come home and make me a fire. I said "just kidding," but we both knew I wasn't.

Anyway, he couldn't be my knight and shining armor on the arson horse this round and gave me a pep talk on my strength and ability to do anything I set my mind to and sent me to YouTube for an education. About an hour later ( after realizing that I had to "open the sliding door to re-pressurize the air in the chimney" (Mr. Pizzas words, not mine) this was my result. And yes, I am very satisfied.

Monday, 2 January 2012

Self Explanitory

I decided today is THE day! After losing 140lbs over 2 years and gaining about 15 back in the last 6 months- I looked in the mirror this morning and did not like what I saw. My clothes are tight and that pesky double chin has been creeping back into my holiday pictures.

I am the ANTI satisfied when it comes to my weight. I don't even know what it would feel like to be satisfied with the number on the scale. I'm always happy to see it go down and I am proud of what I have accomplished in the past two years, but I am not "satisfied.".

So, like I said, today is the day that I have decided to get back on track with seeing my weight go down and my body shape up. The food (not eating so much crappy stuff) is the hardest part for me, I've got terrible cravings especially for sweets! But so far, so good and I decided to reward myself with 30 minutes on the elliptical too.

Now I feel that nice, warm core, muscular, empty feeling. THAT I am satisfied with. :-)

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Craft Time

I mentioned that I'm a Nanny. I LOVE my job. I love everything about it. Seriously. Everything. I have two charges, a 6 year old girl, and a boy who is a few months shy of two.

I could go on and on about all the reasons I love being a Nanny. And, over time I'm sure I probably will. But for right now, I love being a nanny because of the fun crafts.:)

We turned out this "stained glass" window art in about an hour. Such a lovely, unexpected, homemade splash of color to brighten a chilly winter day.

Saturday, 31 December 2011

Happy New Year

Keep your mind out of the gutter.  This is NOT a sleazy picture.  NO!  THIS is the first picture taken of hubby and I in the New Year.  "But it's not the new year yet, C."  Well, fine, you can be a stick in the mud and go with tradition if you want to.  But, Mr. Pizza and I celebrated waking up the the New Year last Thursday morning.

You see, I had Thursday off of nanny duty.  If you don't have children, then you won't realize how NOT FUN it is to hold down a 13 hour single-parent shift while being hung over and sleep deprived from a drunken countdown party to midnight the night before.  We move holidays around our work/sleep schedules here.  It just makes sense.

So this picture; this is at about 7 am (yes, that's sleeping in for us) on the start of our new year.  Early Thursday morning, shiny-faced and bleary-eyed after a crazed rum and coke soaked "new year's early eve" on the couch watching movies, the alarm went off, the light turned on and I told Mr. Pizza to "cheese."  It's a good time to point out that he obliged me.  Says something about how much he loves me, I think.

When I see this picture all I can think about is how lucky I am to have had such a wonderful life with that man already.  We are high school sweethearts, I'm 26 and have spent half my life with him.  The story is romantic, I'll admit, but there are plenty of times I have wondered "what ifs" about it.  What if we had never met and how would my life be different.  What it really comes down to though, is that I've never felt the need to go find out.  I cannot imagine my life without him in it.  I have no idea who I would be without him.  He is my other half in more ways than my rebelliousness would like to admit, but I am grateful to be so valued by him.  And I know that every day I've spent with him has been well spent.

Statement to Settle

I'm a woman who was taught from the very beginning to reach for the stars in everything I do.  I'm sure my loving parents had no idea that their nit picking my homework loving guidance and military interrogations attention to detail, would turn me into a completely practical, logistical, note jotting, list making, coupon clipping, budget sticking, goal oriented, anal bitch person who finds it difficult to be satisfied in the moment.

My husband has said that I'm a black hole and completely insatiable.  He of course meant it in the most loving way that you can tell your wife that she's being an ungrateful, greedy,pushy, bitch person.  He's right, of course.  I mean, he's not right about the fact that video games are a perfectly acceptable way to spend every Saturday night for a month, or that if you add bacon bits to frozen pizza, it suddenly constitutes as a "fancy dinner."  But, about the black hole thing, he's spot on.

I am always looking and reaching for the next goal.  I am always planning for the future.  I am always working towards something.  Some thing to have, or some place to go, or some social status, or some way to keep up with the Jones', chasing a some dream that hasn't fully formed.  I care what people think of me.  I don't particularly see that as a bad thing.  To some extent is is the way I feel accepted.  But, I do think that it's beginning to present a problem in identifying who I am and what I like.  

I've had blogs before that have focused on some certain part of me, ie; my relationships and my weight loss efforts.  But I always seem to end up writing to please people.  I talk about only the good things and only the productive times.  It's unrealistic.  This blog, this one is going to be about many things.  I refuse to try and order into any kind of regularly scheduled program or topic.  I will write about what I want to write about and whenever the mood strikes me to do so.  And, my focus will be on my journey to finding satisfaction with who I am in this world.  It's a promise I'm making to myself.

...You're welcome to come along for the ride...